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Congratulations on taking the plunge. You knew you were at the endpoint and you had to jump out of the plane. You survived the jump. Any surgery is risky. At this point the important thing is to realize you did your very best. All along the way decision points were calculations. Sometimes though by hindsight either way fails if without a win. In the recent WS game, a baseball manager gambled that his mainstay pitcher should be relieved out the trouble he was in. Unfortunately they lost and the manager roasted ever since. If they won, however, he would be the toast of the town. I marvel how even the most experienced sports casters haven’t fully understood this metric.
In the moment, outsiders cannot grasp the full measure what that manager had to process–and indeed processed–in weighing the best step to take. You are that manager but fortunately the game result is yet written. You made a decision that best fits as you saw it; others go on with less data. What many of us have yet fully grasped is the incredible healing power of the human body. I still ponder the exquisite libido: The moment of complete bliss brings wonder if it ever can return–if indeed the need would even come again. Ah, but it does, again and again. Amazing life force.
However the darkest moment invites doubt about the dawn return. Many stories at HT illustrate that but many also show hope, resolve and healing. It may take time but the life force will see you through, maybe even in record time with your particular case. The return of pain is scary but maybe a sign the life force is healing. Not all pain is bad. Some pain is necessary to send us on our way to health. I hope your pain subsides in due time and you can go well on your way. I myself would take solace in the fact that I were not the poor fellow in the Russian prison snubbed by Biden who must now be in immense despair after four years of imprisonment. You have some medical heavyweights who I’m sure will see you through. Good luck my friend.