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20 Months since my sports hernia ”repair” with Dr. Brown
Hello everyone,
This past week marked 20 months since I had life-altering surgery with Dr. Brown. I apologize in advance for a lengthy post. It’s been 20 months of useless attempts at regaining tissue/muscle function and a semblance of a normal life. I want to show through these updates to anyone new to having sort of groin issues that one bad doctor can mess up the rest of your life and to be very, very careful with deciding on surgery.
For reference, the picture on the left is me flexing a few months before the surgery, and the middle & right pictures were taken this week after 20 months of rehab.
Just to be clear – I am flexing in all 3 pictures.
It is very hard for me still to put into words what I want to express when it comes to posting about my nightmare experience with Dr. Brown. I still can’t believe the fact that it’s been 20 months of core exercises that produced absolutely no results since my core tissues have completely released when the man decided to carve out flaps out of my external oblique (literal strips). I effectively do not have any groin strength/tension and my external obliques on both sides are completely released. No muscle density, no activity. To put this into perspective, before this surgery I was seeing an acupuncturist for athletes twice a week for dry needling and he had issues inserting needles into my lower abs/groin because of how conditioned/tight the tissues were. There is 0% tension/strenght left. Zero. It’s like jello.
You can actually see on the third picture above how my core is collapsed, my pectoral is collapsed as well. My ribcage is twisted & my linea alba is loose.
One of the most striking physical signs of something being wrong is I dont have the normal V shape of the core like every adult man has. Starting at the scars and below, theres is nothing below. its flat. its been carved out & split into strips. Completely released from the structure.
Recent scans show serious muscle-atrophy that isn’t natural. I was told that there is absolutely no way I could’ve sustained the amount of damage my tissues have sustained naturally. I have permanent rib pain/discomfort, rib pain/discomfort, sternum pain, etc. I cannot stand straight. And I’m starting to have symptoms of mild scoliosis developing for the obvious reason that I do not have a core anymore & since my core is completely inhibited my back muscles also cannot stabilize anything.
It’s extremely hard for me to accept that this was done to me bi-laterally in roughly 1h45 minutes. Less time than it takes to watch an average movie these days.
But what’s especially hard for me is knowing that I spent my childhood sleeping on the floor because we didn’t have money to own furniture or beds.
That I spent my entire adult life training thousands of hours to become a professional dancer, working 3 jobs to support myself while chasing my dreams and that I had reached the equivalent of being in the NHL or NFL before this surgery. That I was slated to perform at the Grammy Awards and the Superbowl half-time show before this was done to me. That I was tired of the chronic overuse pain I had and finally gave in to go see a Dr. because it wouldn’t completely heal on its own (it almost did but not quite).
I can’t get over the fact that I’ve been told that I would need serious reconstruction of the entire groin to repair all the cutting and releasing Dr. Brown did.
That despite reconstruction I will probably never be able to flex my core properly again
Or play sports
Or have a proper erection…or ejaculation….or breathing pattern even. Hell I can’t even control my own farts. Its literally like someone ran a lawn mower though every abdominal tissue in my groin and released everything.I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is on a daily basis to have every rib and every vertebrae be loose & sensitive because all my intercoastal muscles/tissues between my ribs & vertebraes & and back muscles are completely released as well – due to him completely releasing my external obliques..by carving flaps out of them. I cannot lay on my back at all because of all the vertebrae poking out/not being held in place from the lack of structural strength/tension in my core/around my entire chest area. Nothing is able to stay in alignment. I can’t even get adjusted at a chiropractor because all the tissues aren’t able to maintain things in place.
I’ve been asked if I had gotten this surgery in a third world country. Nobody can actually believe this was done to me in California, by someone who pretends they specialize in working with professional athletes and getting them back to sport.
Why was my spermatic cord completely dissected and freed through every tissue? nobody knows. I had no testicular symptoms. No spermatic cord symptoms. Nothing.
Before this surgery I prehabbed with an Olympic-level athletic therapist for about 2-3 months to reduce my rehabilitation time. Completely useless since the second Dr. Brown started cutting, he released the groin & the core in its entirety effectively nullifying any possible pre-hab work I had done for months.
I studied every possible angle. I avoided going to Dr. Meyers because I was afraid that a surgery where someone releases my rectus attachment to my pubic bone would cause permanent weakness.
I thoroughly asked Dr Brown every variation of the questions:
– Will your surgery affect my core 1) health, 2) function
– Will your surgery affect my sexual function or genitaelia
– Is your surgery so invasive that it would impair my core or cause something to stop working properly or break structural integrity.All of which is scoffed at and assured me that it was not possible for anything he does to hurt me or cause any weakness…. He said ”the goal is to get everything back to working as it should”.
How on earth can a structure work as it should & carry load & support surrounding structures if you cut strips out of it & completely release it and never close it up back as a whole structure?
And yet here we are…
Despite me explaining to Dr. Brown that I believed in a ”less is more” approach and making him promise he would only repair what was actually injured and not overdo it – he deceived me and lied to me – knowing what he was about to do. He had every opportunity to explain the full extent of his procedure & let me agree to it or not. Knowing that I said I didn’t want my anatomy modified or anything crazy like that. Why? Because I was already there physically and he wanted to close the sale. He was already performing surgeries the next day and fitting me in there meant one more paying patient for the day.
Instead of repairing any defects & restoring structural integrity – Dr. Brown cut wide open my entire groin on both sides through healthy tissues. Through uninjured tissues. Carved out strips of the external oblique (which is multi-dimensional and by doing so broke the structural integrity of the muscle on both sides & released them permanently.
See even if I spend the next 30 years in therapy – I will never understand how quickly my life was demolished. How nonchalantly I was mutilated.
How the only thing I ever loved and was passionate about was taken from me and that I’ll never be able to do it or workout again..or go for a run..or even a simply go for a walk comfortably with my mom as she gets older.
I can tell you that there are very few things that make someone feel less like a man than not being able to have a proper erection/ejaculation….or having to ask your 70 years old parents to help your pregnant sister move because at 30 years of age and after a lifetime of competitive sports & professional dancing I suddenly can’t even carry anything down the stairs due to not having a core at all anymore.
With all this comes the trauma that keeps me awake every single night for the past 20 months. Of never ever being able to trust a doctor again.
As I’ve said before my life has been reduced to living in a bedroom. I can’t function due to the intolerable amount of discomfort I have just by breathing or standing up. Even sitting down. I should be living life, living my dreams, working out, going for runs…socializing..raising a family perhaps.
But instead im sitting in a room at my parent’s house. Every single day. Looking out the window. Knowing that I’ll spend the rest of my life like this. Because a doctor didn’t care enough to respect me as a human being instead of another paying customer. Knowing that I have absolutely no hope of getting better because of what he did.
It’s not repairable. I won’t regain the function ever. I still need to get severe reconstruction to restore structural integrity of everything he cut out but the tension & strength have been lost forever. And like I said, I simply don’t think ill ever trust another doctor.
I did have previous surgery + non-porous mesh on my right side that was taken out (in his own words: it slid right out). And if it had only been that side, perhaps I wouldve believed that it was my previous surgery that made this one more complicated. But I had no previous procedure on my left side and a simple very surface-level overuse injury of the aponeurosis on the left that requires some sutures & 6 weeks of rehab. And Dr. Brown butchered both sides the same, and my outcome on both sides is the exact same.
If Dr. Brown still comes here and reads this – I sincerely hope that you are never allowed near a patient again – if only for your lack of integrity and understanding of the human body.
For everyone else, I hope this inspires you to be more careful with what doctor you trust or what you decide to do medically. You are one bad decision/doctor for being impaired for the rest of your life like me no matter your previous fitness level. I’ll probably post again in a month or two..or 4…I haven’t been able to go anywhere or do anything in the past 20 months and apparently that won’t ever change so I’ll be back to update you guys some more about how nothing has changed.
I hope this post isn’t deleted. This is HerniaTalk right? Let’s talk about it then.
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