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To Remove or Not to Remove?
The more I scour this forum and read Dr Towfighs responses, the more I am convinced
she knows what she’s talking about and cares about people and unfortunately the more I realize I had my mesh removed for all the wrong reasons.Disclaimer: In no way shape or form am I giving medical advice here. I’m sharing my experience and my research in hopes people make the right decision for the right reasons when deciding on removal.
This is my story.
The decision to remove mesh was based on a level of discomfort too arbitrary to put a number on and partly due to the psychological effects of what having plastic implanted inside myself had on me. It’s easy to fall into the category of wanting your mesh out if you are having any sort of discomfort from it or reading all the negatives out there about the unknown certainty of what mesh does inside the body over a long of period time. The statistics can easily weigh on your decision and unfortunately it is also easy to google mesh problems and mesh removal to validate any of your concerns.
What may be a “good result” to the surgeon may not be considered a good result to the patient. I urge you to speak to removal patients before making your decision. I speak to 5 of them on a weekly basis and none of them consider it a “good result” including myself. Removing mesh successfully may not equate to a good result, I’m finding. I am embarrassed and feel ignorant for the mistake I have made by deciding on this extremely invasive procedure, a decision partly due to a confident surgeon who did not share with me the entire spectrum of risks or prepare me for the harsh reality of an open inguinal mesh removal with triple neurectomy on the right side.
Before mesh removal I could ride a bike, swim, jump and run. I did so with some level of discomfort, I did so knowing there was mesh in me, I did this for a year. I guess it bothered me enough to research mesh and with an internet of endless information I considered myself a candidate and apparently so did this surgeon.
I am 16 months out of my removal. I can no longer ride that bike, run, swim or do much of anything without extreme debilitating pain and the fear of losing my stomach. A pain I now know is far worse than before. I have come to the realization I’m going to be challenged for life.
The neurectomies have caused an endless amount of discomfort that ranges from
burning groin pain, extreme testicular and penis pain, radiating burning leg pain, extreme discomfort, stabbing, a numbness that feels like no blood or circulation is getting to the area properly which makes you feel like the area is stifled and suffocated with no feeling of temperature. You wish you can straddle a body pillow with comfort and feel that cold, cool feeling of the fabric between you but that’s gone, dead in a way. Your stomach is now distended like a malnourished child, full of twice the amount of scar tissue, scarring that feels worse than my lightweight prolene mesh was. I have lost the ability to flex the groin and the entire region. My penis and spermatic cords are barely attached to my body. The groin, penis stomach and testicles are lax and collapsed (over two inches) causing extreme pressure and pain on my spermatic cords, penis and prostate. An erection is possible but extremely painful, ejaculation is painful and often bloody. The only thing that was shared to me about nerve resection were these words “They are only sensory nerves, they will grow back.” A very lax consult that has left me partially disabled.
I’m finding from Dr Chen that there’s a lot more to neurectomies than that.
Could I have gotten this out less invasively?The repair – Without these nerves your stomach is atrophied and weak, it feels dangerous and uncertain, taking a simple step is painful now. Lifting the lightest weight is a challenge. The repair is so tight your anatomy is completely altered from its original state wreaking havoc on the surrounding areas, you are now living in an entirely different body. All the pressure of digestion is funneled narrowly to the base of your penis. My left side is now infested with pain with a lipoma ready to explode. Your stomach is narrowed your genitals are misplaced and testicles hang lower and longer. It’s uncomfortable and almost mutilating you feel trapped.
The repair is so weak that without nerves innervating the muscle, it is scary to walk, cough, even talk too loud. I can not feel my breath anymore, I literally feel like I’m being suffocated as my stomach doesn’t raise and relax properly. It’s hard to swallow. I haven’t felt right since removal. I’m debilitated and imprisoned. Feels like liquid is filling my perineum and testicles. My stomach is chronically tight, crooked, bloated and in pain. I can’t sit or stand even with out wanting to lay down. Basic pleasures are lost like sex, eating, going to the bathroom, coughing, sneezing, farting, singing….gone. I do not know how I can continue to go on like this, I was told removing the mesh would be beneficial, this is far from any benefit, this is torture.I traded getting plastic out of my body that was causing me some discomfort for far worse discomfort, missing and painful nerves and I think from the OP report what looks like a polypropylene suture that was used in the repair, so basically there’s still plastic in me. In fact I believe this has caused the beginning of a true hernia. I forgot to mention all this is for such a minimal hernia that barely existed. I don’t even know if I had a real one. I do feel like this removal is putting me at risk now.
Dr. Towfigh and Dr Chen I feel understand the invasive nature of removal and I can tell from reading some of these posts that they err on the side of caution when considering removal.
I wish I had spoke to them prior to this horrific and traumatic experience.Mesh removal has taken my sexuality, my personality, my body and life from me.
It is very easy to blame the first surgeon for implanting it in the first place, it’s the mesh’s fault so whatever happens during removal it will always retort back to the original procedure. It’s an easy cover up for anyone trying to create a business model out of the common problem of post surgical mesh pain.
For all the reasons above I regret my removal and can not fathom why a doctor would advertise taking mesh out of anyone just “because” the patient wants it removed knowing even just ONE of these risks. In the same way I wasn’t informed about mesh I also wasn’t informed about removal or neurectomies.Thank you for the wealth of information and I hope this sheds light on how serious this procedure is to those considering it. Consider letting a patient with your exact case, age,sex etc, share details of their mesh removal with you before you find yourself on a table for the wrong reasons because once you jump there’s no going back.
Just my thoughts.Happy New Year
Disclaimer: In no way shape or form am I giving medical advice here. I’m sharing my experience and my research in hopes people make the right decision for the right reasons when deciding on removal.
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