22 Months since Dr. Brown maimed me
2 weeks ago marked 22 months since I had a nightmare surgery performed on me by Dr. Brown where he caused critical structural damage to my core and maimed me for the rest of my life.
For those unfamiliar I’m a professional dancer that went to Dr. Brown with an overuse injury/chronic pain. Here’s me flexing before Dr. Brown (and my entire adult life)
Here’s me today, after 22 months of useless, depressing rehab.
I frankly don’t know what the point is of me posting every few months other than hoping some new patient sees this and avoids this fraud of a doctor and realizes that you can’t even trust that certain doctors won’t seriously harm you anymore. I strongly believe its important that people see my story because this is real life. The bullshit that man tells his patients about ”youll be back in 3 months, everything will be functioning as its supposed to” is bullshit.
If anyone wonders why I am so affected by this whole ordeal to the point of writing about it every few months – other than the obvious reasons that my career got ended, my life was completely stopped in its tracks, my physique was severely and permanently altered – it’s because Dr. Brown performed overly invasive, unsafe steps in his procedure that I had not only never agreed to – but that he purposely never mentioned to me to get me to agree to surgery so he can make a dollar.
Imagine going to a dental appointment for a cavity – or similar treatment – they tell you they’ll have to give you anaesthesia because they have 2 cavities to repair – so you go in trusting your dentist and having a general idea of what he’s about to do to repair the cavity – and you wake up with parts of your gum cut out, a bunch of teeth pulled out, and other life-altering things that you didn’t agree to in the slightest.
That’s my situation with Dr. Brown
I asked this man very clearly – VERY clearly (as my entire career and life’s work depended on these questions) –
1. Does your procedure affect my core’s function or ability to flex in any shape or form – answer was no.
2. Does your procedure affect any other body part – no
3. Will it affect my genitalia or sexual function in any way shape or form – no.
4. Is any step of your procedure so invasive that it will cause permanent functional issues or prevent another doctor from operating on me again should the pain still be there – answer was no.
I remember right before agreeing I added: Please don’t hurt me doc. it took me 2 years to finally decide to see a doctor because of chronic pain – do not mess me up. Whatever you do – do not harm me please.
And yet here we are. 2 years after I woke up from a surgery where the man cut flaps out of my obliques -, completely releasing my obliques on both sides & cut into my spermatic cord – freeing it from its natural attachments & displacing it – without ever telling me he would do such a thing. Both steps were not only completely unnecessary but unbelievable invasive & permanently damaging.
How can a doctor who pays for a marketing website where he tells people he works with athletes primarily – how can a doctor like that cut out parts of one big continuous muscle/piece of tissues that stretches from point A to point B and is under continuous tension from the moment you’re born – how can you cut into one big continuous piece of tissue to the point of completely releasing the tension, the tissue’s ability to stay under tension passively and permanently harming the patient.
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t ask myself that question. Every single night – for the few hours I’m able to sleep due to the unbelievable permanent discomfort I’m experiencing – I think to myself – how can a doctor just pretend he specializes in something he clearly doesn’t understand – and continue doing it without repercussions. Harming patient after patient.
I effectively don’t have a core right now. From the moment his procedure was done to me, my entire core’s tension & strength released permanently. I don’t have obliques at all. No tension, unable to gain tension or hold any. Rehab is pointless. And because I dont have oblique strength or function anymore well my rectus is completely released as well.
Me. The professional dancer for the last 12 years whos never not had a 6 pack. Completely disfigured – looking like I was in a freak accident that left my all crooked & dysfunctional.
All that for an overuse injury. I functioned as a normal human being, a professional level athlete for years with the pain. And when I finally decided it was time to get some help and trust a doctor – the man mutilated me. There is not a single good, valid reason why my core isn’t whole. Why it has cut out parts sutured on top of each other.
The list of permanent issues I have since this procedure was performed on me is just never ending
– Uneven hips – since I don’t have a groin anymore
– Uneven hips leading to unstable knees – its like bambi on ice seriously
– Unstable knees led to cartilage in my knees getting destroyed with every step I take since my pelvis is permanently stuck in a posterior tilt and can’t even out my hips. I can barely go for a walk nowadays. When I do go I spend about a week of excruciating pain because my knees are grinding the cartilage down. Before this I danced professionally 12 years, 8 hours a day, without a single knee issue or any pain.
– Breathing discomfort
– Back problems -> since I effectively do not have a core anymore I cannot lift or carry anything. If I even try every disc in my back risks popping out.
– Since there is no tension in my core and I have no core anymore I now also have
– Erectile dysfunction
– Severe ejaculative dysfunction
– As Ive said before – since my obliques completely released from top to bottom – all my intercoastal muscles are loose and my ribs actually move independently when I breathe or move or do anything. its quite hard to explain but its the most disgusting feeling in the world.
All this for what? For an o-v-e-r-u-s-e injury.
Not an acute injury.
Not a bulge
Not a hernia
An overuse injury where some of the tissues in my groin got pulled & were giving me this never ending ache that I thought I would finally get fixed – that were EASILY fixable.
Imagine the scenario. My friends & colleagues saw me have chronic pain for 2 years and then I told them I was finally going to take care of it with this doctor that ”specializes in working with athletes”.
I told them I would see them in 3 months and they were ecstatic.
Its been 2 years. I never spoke to anyone again. I’m permanently fucked up. I cant do anything I was doing. My entire life’s work was taken from me just like that. In 1h45 minutes. Like I went to a McDonalds assembly line to get randomly chopped up & discarded.
When I lie awake every night and I can’t sleep for obvious physical and psychological reasons – I think to myself: Wow. I know how to operate a screwdriver. If that man who has no idea what he’s doing and is permanently disfiguring and seriously harming patients without any consequences can have a clinic and sleep at night earning a living this way, I should open a garage and make a website about it. When people come to me with their car problems, I can just cut into random things, disable their breaks, cut into wires that they did not agree to having cut into, and when I return them their cars and they don’t work anymore – it doesn’t matter I just move on to the next one.
So anyways here I am. in 2 weeks it’ll be 23 months since it happened.
Every doctor I’ve spoken to is baffled. They have never seen anything this bad, this invasive, this damaging and quite frankly this stupid. This is critical damage to my core tissues that will leave me dysfunctional like this for the rest of my life – there is no justification for this stupid procedure.
I do most likely need someone to operate on me and actually repair my core i.e undo all the things Dr. Brown did and put it back in one piece – as its supposed to be – but I’m scared to death.
I’m genuinely terrified. I have severe trauma, severe ptsd. So I’m here, stuck by myself, watching everyone who was a part of my life live their lives on social media while I’m isolated in a room, with my physique severely altered, broken – not being able to do all the things I worked for let alone be a functional human being in our society.
If you’re new to this forum and you’re considering getting surgery or help – seriously rethink it. I was the perfect candidate. I was 6”3. 175 pounds. tens of thousands of hours of conditioning over the past 12 years – my job was literally to condition & move my body 12 hours a day. Non smoker. Non drinker. My body & my career and movement was my life.
And here I am. Permanently crippled. Sexually crippled. With more chronic pain & dysfunction than I can explain. With messed up testicles.
I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. And I went into this like I go into seeing any doctor – that I would hope that beyond anything they would treat me the same way they would want a family member of theirs to be treated. And that they wouldn’t do anything to me that they wouldn’t do to their own children.
Yet here we are. I’ll keep popping in every few months to give another pointless update – as long as I’m here.
Thanks for listening internet strangers. Hope you all had a better holidays season than I did.
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