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3.5 Years later
3.5 years ago Dr. Brown bilaterally cut open my inguinal canal from the external ring all the way to the internal ring then horizontally superiorly and inferiorly to create flaps that separated that section from the rest of the external oblique aponeurosis.. Doing this he immediately released 100% of the tension in my external oblique aponeurosis in its entirety and caused a tension loss vertically which released my external oblique muscle all the way to its insertion – pretty much the same as if someone cut your achilles tendon in half your calf muscle would release and completely lose its strength. He then also cut open my entire inguinal floor from the conjoint tendon to the level of the epigastric vessels again releasing the entire tension/strength in my inguinal floor, releasing my conjoint tendon in the process as well. It’s like he was trying to debone a chicken thigh. He did the absolute most amount of damage possible through healthy uninjured tissues for a non-acute, non-traumatic overuse injury with no hernia. Just an overuse injury that caused pain when I exercised.
In 90 minutes he undid 12 years of professional dancing/training/conditioning and destroyed my entire body/life.
For the last 3.5 years (since the surgery);
– My testicles have been loose/hanging/shape has changed (I had no testicle issues or pain before this). I have testicle pain 24/7 now
– I haven’t been able to walk properly. I have permanent unsteady gait where every single step feels different like I’m walking on ice. Every day, 24/7. My body hesitates with every single step I take
– I have new and permanent postural issues. My body is desperately trying to stabilize itself but it can’t because my core no longer works.
– I have severe chronic knee pain despite having no knee issues for 12 years while professionally dancing. Because he completely destroyed my groin/lower abs that normally stabilize your pelvis, I am now stuck in a hyper pronounced anterior pelvis tilt which affects my gait but also all my leg muscles which in return affects my knee stability. In other words my knees are getting crushed because my pelvis is stuck forward.
– I have erectile weakness
– I have ejaculatory weakness
– My physique is completely altered(visually). My entire core is no longer under normal tension instead it hangs loose. If I get in a plank position my core never activates I can sit there for 3 minutes and I’ll drop because the rest of my body is uncomfortable and in pain rather than my core getting a workout. It doesn’t activate at all. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror and I’ll never take my shirt off or go swimming again.
– I cannot do any form of physical activity because you need to brace your core when you exercise and I can no longer do that
– I can’t do physiotherapy because my entire body doesn’t work as intended. I have severe core weakness, my lats don’t work at all because my external obliques no longer work, etc. Your body can’t balance itself out if major structures are failing/no longer work in the middle of it.
– I can’t go to a chiropractor to get adjusted because my soft tissues are no longer holding my body in alignment like they’re supposed to.
– I have severe insertional abdominal pain at my ribs/sternum.
– The most physical thing I can do is go for a 30-60 minutes slow walk with my elderly parents every few days and then I have to lay down for the rest of the day. As a comparison I was dancing through 8 hour rehearsals every single day before this even while injured.
– I can’t stand up for more than 45-60 minutes before its unbearable and then I have to lay down
– I have irregular bowel movements/digestion
– I have permanent & continuous spasms throughout my entire body, mostly around my groin and especially my legs. Constant spasms and tissues releasing spasming. It keeps me up and wakes me up multiple times a night.
– I have not had a single full night of sleep since this procedure. Not one in 3.5 years. When I do end up falling asleep for a few hours I wake up multiple times from the discomfort/pain/continuous muscle spasms.
– Anatomatically/structurally I no longer have an inguinal canal nor an external inguinal ring. My spermatic cord is directly under my skin. I no longer have that “V” that everyone has. Anything below the level of my internal ring is completely flat and weak.This procedure instantly ended not only my career but really my entire life. Its seriously like someone ran an immersion blender through my groin bilaterally. Any hopes of having an active lifestyle, or a significant other or even kids one day is completely gone. I can barely get through my days by myself and most of those are spent in agonizing discomfort and pain where I have to lie down, can you imagine trying to care for a child or be a supportive partner?
My family goes on vacation without me once a year. My nephew is now 5 years old and is starting to ask why his uncle can’t go play soccer with him or go ride a bike with him.
All of this from a 90 minutes outpatient procedure with a doctor who said he specialized in athletes and that I was the perfect patient because of how conditioned my body was. He said there was a 0% chance I would lose any muscle function or that it would affect my genitalia or even the way my physique looks. And of course he wrote “there were no complications and the patient tolerated the procedure well” at the end of his report.
Obviously there is no coming back from this how could a surgeon undo this amount of traumatic tissue damage its not possible even if you’re the best surgeon out there and if anyone even tried I risk losing my testicles along with nerve damage.
I’ve been looking to go consult Dr. Conze in Germany but really I’ve been looking online on how to overdose when I take that trip away from my family. This isn’t a life I’m all but handicapped at this point and an incredible burden to my family. I can’t explain the shame I feel on a daily for them having to see me like this and that I can’t make them proud. I’ve missed out of my friends getting married, having kids etc, one of my friends is on tour with Taylor Swift travelling the world (we’re dancers that trained together for years) meanwhile I’m stuck here agonizing day by day unable to do anything or function at all.
I hope this serves as a warning to any new hernia/groin pain patients. Although I was an athlete in incredible shape and this was a procedure for a sports injury – this can happen to anyone. It takes a very short amount of time for a doctor to mess you up permanently for life and they won’t think about it twice. The groin space unfortunately does not attract the best and brightest it attracts the doctors that became doctors for the status and are trying to maximize their revenue by exploiting this niche at the expense of real human beings.
Best of luck to everyone – be safe out there. Don’t end up like me.
- This discussion was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by drtowfigh.
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