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3.5 Years later
3.5 years ago Dr. Brown bilaterally cut open my inguinal canal from the external ring all the way to the internal ring then horizontally superiorly and inferiorly to create flaps that separated that section from the rest of the external oblique aponeurosis.. Doing this he immediately released 100% of the tension in my external oblique aponeurosis in its entirety and caused a tension loss vertically which released my external oblique muscle all the way to its insertion – pretty much the same as if someone cut your achilles tendon in half your calf muscle would release and completely lose its strength. He then also cut open my entire inguinal floor from the conjoint tendon to the level of the epigastric vessels again releasing the entire tension/strength in my inguinal floor, releasing my conjoint tendon in the process as well. It’s like he was trying to debone a chicken thigh. He did the absolute most amount of damage possible through healthy uninjured tissues for a non-acute, non-traumatic overuse injury with no hernia. Just an overuse injury that caused pain when I exercised.
In 90 minutes he undid 12 years of professional dancing/training/conditioning and destroyed my entire body/life.
For the last 3.5 years (since the surgery);
– My testicles have been loose/hanging/shape has changed (I had no testicle issues or pain before this). I have testicle pain 24/7 now
– I haven’t been able to walk properly. I have permanent unsteady gait where every single step feels different like I’m walking on ice. Every day, 24/7. My body hesitates with every single step I take
– I have new and permanent postural issues. My body is desperately trying to stabilize itself but it can’t because my core no longer works.
– I have severe chronic knee pain despite having no knee issues for 12 years while professionally dancing. Because he completely destroyed my groin/lower abs that normally stabilize your pelvis, I am now stuck in a hyper pronounced anterior pelvis tilt which affects my gait but also all my leg muscles which in return affects my knee stability. In other words my knees are getting crushed because my pelvis is stuck forward.
– I have erectile weakness
– I have ejaculatory weakness
– My physique is completely altered(visually). My entire core is no longer under normal tension instead it hangs loose. If I get in a plank position my core never activates I can sit there for 3 minutes and I’ll drop because the rest of my body is uncomfortable and in pain rather than my core getting a workout. It doesn’t activate at all. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror and I’ll never take my shirt off or go swimming again.
– I cannot do any form of physical activity because you need to brace your core when you exercise and I can no longer do that
– I can’t do physiotherapy because my entire body doesn’t work as intended. I have severe core weakness, my lats don’t work at all because my external obliques no longer work, etc. Your body can’t balance itself out if major structures are failing/no longer work in the middle of it.
– I can’t go to a chiropractor to get adjusted because my soft tissues are no longer holding my body in alignment like they’re supposed to.
– I have severe insertional abdominal pain at my ribs/sternum.
– The most physical thing I can do is go for a 30-60 minutes slow walk with my elderly parents every few days and then I have to lay down for the rest of the day. As a comparison I was dancing through 8 hour rehearsals every single day before this even while injured.
– I can’t stand up for more than 45-60 minutes before its unbearable and then I have to lay down
– I have irregular bowel movements/digestion
– I have permanent & continuous spasms throughout my entire body, mostly around my groin and especially my legs. Constant spasms and tissues releasing spasming. It keeps me up and wakes me up multiple times a night.
– I have not had a single full night of sleep since this procedure. Not one in 3.5 years. When I do end up falling asleep for a few hours I wake up multiple times from the discomfort/pain/continuous muscle spasms.
– Anatomatically/structurally I no longer have an inguinal canal nor an external inguinal ring. My spermatic cord is directly under my skin. I no longer have that “V” that everyone has. Anything below the level of my internal ring is completely flat and weak.This procedure instantly ended not only my career but really my entire life. Its seriously like someone ran an immersion blender through my groin bilaterally. Any hopes of having an active lifestyle, or a significant other or even kids one day is completely gone. I can barely get through my days by myself and most of those are spent in agonizing discomfort and pain where I have to lie down, can you imagine trying to care for a child or be a supportive partner?
My family goes on vacation without me once a year. My nephew is now 5 years old and is starting to ask why his uncle can’t go play soccer with him or go ride a bike with him.
All of this from a 90 minutes outpatient procedure with a doctor who said he specialized in athletes and that I was the perfect patient because of how conditioned my body was. He said there was a 0% chance I would lose any muscle function or that it would affect my genitalia or even the way my physique looks. And of course he wrote “there were no complications and the patient tolerated the procedure well” at the end of his report.
Obviously there is no coming back from this how could a surgeon undo this amount of traumatic tissue damage its not possible even if you’re the best surgeon out there and if anyone even tried I risk losing my testicles along with nerve damage.
I’ve been looking to go consult Dr. Conze in Germany but really I’ve been looking online on how to overdose when I take that trip away from my family. This isn’t a life I’m all but handicapped at this point and an incredible burden to my family. I can’t explain the shame I feel on a daily for them having to see me like this and that I can’t make them proud. I’ve missed out of my friends getting married, having kids etc, one of my friends is on tour with Taylor Swift travelling the world (we’re dancers that trained together for years) meanwhile I’m stuck here agonizing day by day unable to do anything or function at all.
I hope this serves as a warning to any new hernia/groin pain patients. Although I was an athlete in incredible shape and this was a procedure for a sports injury – this can happen to anyone. It takes a very short amount of time for a doctor to mess you up permanently for life and they won’t think about it twice. The groin space unfortunately does not attract the best and brightest it attracts the doctors that became doctors for the status and are trying to maximize their revenue by exploiting this niche at the expense of real human beings.
Best of luck to everyone – be safe out there. Don’t end up like me.
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This discussion was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by
drtowfigh.
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This discussion was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by
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10 Replies
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Hi Peter,
I was just recently wondering how you were doing, but never know if it is ok to reach out. I imagine posting and talking about things might be a little cathartic, but also tedious and painful, so thank you for the update.
Your wanting to make your family proud and to not feel like a burden is completely understandable, but the feelings of shame are troubling (your circumstances are not your fault), as is the suicidal ideation. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I hope you seek out some psychological support as you continue to navigate all of this.
It might be a shot in the dark, but I’ll chat with a couple of people I have recently been working with in a sports medicine clinic to see if they can point to any potential resources.
Consulting with Dr. Conze sounds like a good idea, do it! Did you ever try to contact Dr. Kang in Korea to see if he might know anyone? Seeking diverse perspectives outside of our ‘local’ systems can be helpful. Keep spreading your story, keep talking to doctors…the networks that people have are extraordinary and you never know when one of these connections might lead to the right person.
– Mark
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My point is that in your first post, you strongly suggest that PeterC tragedy is related to mesh problem. Just wanted to show you that it is unrelated since, after 2nd surgery, Peter also had dysfunctionnal issues on his other healthy side.
Oops I have just noticed it. I don’t understand how it happened tbh.
I have already made the update with this other name on the initial thread.
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I’m still not clear on how that matters. PeterC continued to have pain after the first surgeon(s) worked on him. Dr. Brown tried to help. Why does it matter if he removed a piece of mesh? It should also be pointed out that PeterC said that the mesh had no tissue ingrowth but then said it was pulled out with bloody tissue attached to it.
Sorry, but I don’t see the point that you’re trying to make. You’re just showing other parts of PeterC’s story. They don’t seem connected.
And, why do you show up as two separate screen names? Do you have two accounts on the forum? Doesn’t really matter, it just confuses things.
How is your recovery coming along? You were going to post an update.
The mesh that was removed sounds like a Gore Medical PTFE product. The kind that Dr. Grischkan uses for his “modified Shouldice” procedure.
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What I mean is that before Dr Brown surgery, only one side was “repaired” with mesh/neurectomy combination. The other side was healthy. Peter explained it on another thread.
“This was the only surgery I had before Dr. Brown. My inguinal floor was not touched since it wasn’t torn, the external oblique was closed the same way it was opened. No loss of strength or effect on my core from that surgery, just some soreness/tightness near the scar that healed in a couple of days. My left side was healthy at the time so no previous surgery there. I went on to dance for 2.5 years full-time after that. I had pain but at least my muscles were functional.
Then 2.5 years later I had Dr. Brown’s surgery bilaterally. He did the same surgery bilaterally the only difference being that when he did the right side, he opened the external oblique and the gore-tex mesh was still sitting there so he just pulled it out. It hadn’t scarred and no muscle tissue had grown on it due to the nature of the material it was just sitting there over the canal. Came out as clean as it went in, it didn’t need to be carved out of me with a bunch of bloody tissue attached to it like the other mesh horror stories you see. Dr. Brown himself said it was his first time seeing a non-porous mesh. My local doctors said they had put in that type of mesh specifically so that it didn’t adhere to anything and cause any issues. It was also his fire time seeing a mesh that wasn’t on the inguinal floor but rather was over the inguinal canal. I can send you a picture of the mesh after it was taken out if you want it looks like a piece of white cardboard there’s nothing to it.”
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No offense intended Guygolo but I don’t know what you mean. Are you saying that in the beginning he had the same problem on both sides but he had a neurectomy and mesh placed on only one side? I don’t understand. Why would that be done?
My point was that Dr. Brown did not ruin a perfect body. Previous work had been done and Dr. Brown was trying to help with a pre-existing problem. This wasn’t a simple hernia repair. The other doctors had apparently given up or had no ideas to move forward with. Damage had been done before Dr. Brown got involved.
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GI : PeterC also explained previously that he had the same issue on the other groin side without mesh placed and neurectomy done.
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The full story should be told. PeterC’s problems started with a prior operation, that included a neurectomy and a mesh implant. Dr. Brown attempted to help him resolve his problem with high intensity chronic pain at rest after exercise, after these procedures did not work. He tried to help improve his quality of life. PeterC’s story is an example of why many surgeons don’t want to get involved with mesh problems. The attempts to help often don’t work, and the person that attempts to help gets blamed.
PeterC had apparently been dealing with groin pain for a while even before he had any procedures done. So, there was pre-existing pain, a neurectomy, a mesh implant, and the pain continued. Dr. Brown got involved in the middle/end of a long trail of problems. Do the people that came before bear some responsibility? Where are they now? Should they also be avoided?
PeterC’s story is also an example of how chronic pain affects a person’s thinking. It really is mentally debilitating.
https://herniatalk.com/forums/topic/my-experience-with-dr-browns-sports-hernia-surgery-pt-2/
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Before going in to Dr. Brown, I had had only one procedure to remove a part of my illioinguinal nerve, accessed through the external oblique aponeurosis on the right. They left a solid small local
mesh (not perforated) there in the opening of the external oblique aponeurosis that closed/healed over it. The rest of my abdominal muscles (internal oblique, transverse,rectus etc) were not touched whatsoever. They thought
I had pain due to entrapped illioginal nerve and that anything else would heal over time. The first surgery lasted 40 minutes total. Right away I knew that it wasn’t my issue
because the next day my pain was still there and my gait was still a little off on the right side.I went on to dance for 2 years after that surgery – in that condition hoping I would heal naturally. For the most part I had almost no pain during high-intensity exercise but high chronic pain at rest/after to the point where
it became difficult to have quality of life.
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Peter I am so sorry to read about your situation, my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find some way to get some improvment in quality of life. Speak to Dr.Conze over the phone, explain your sitaution, I’m sure he will give you an honest opinion of whether he thinks he could do anything to help You.
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David M,
I think you’re referring to the Halsted method from the 19th century.
When I consulted with Dr. Brown, I was grilling him a bit on what he was actually going to do in my case. It sounded like a Marcy reinforced with a Desarda. He refused to use the actual names of these procedures for some reason. When I asked him if the reinforcement was a Desarda, he said that Desarda didn’t invent anything new, and this approach had already been known as Halsted. These aren’t actually the same technique, of course. He gave me the willies.
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Hello PeterC,
Sorry to hear things have not gotten better, but good to hear that you are still here. Not that he was a great philosopher, but the words of George Harrison always sort of stand out when I hear travails like yours. He said something like “Expect nothing and everything in life is a bonus.” That’s kind of true.
I hope that doesn’t come off as annoying.I do think you need to take your hernia report to someone with extensive knowledge of the core anatomy. I can’t help but think there is a missing piece that might help you. I also will add that as an outsider it seems like your depression is taking you further down than you have to go.
I will add that I remember the last time you were posting that you said something about your spermatic cord being left above the external Oblique. I thought that was odd, but since then I read that that was one of the major repairs to inguinal hernia used back in the day before Shouldice. I think it started with an H, but I’m not sure.
Anyway, keep posting….
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